Oh Lord Why Won't You Fry Me My Mercedes Benz?

See, this is the standard of health professional we’ve come to expect here in the good old U of K. One can only imagine the interview.

“So Mr Ahmed, I see from your CV that your hobbies are darts, salsa dancing and jihad.”
“Sorry that’s a typo, it should read darts, salsa dancing and not jihad.”
“Oh good. I’m glad that’s that cleared up. We have quite strict rules about jihad in the NHS, it is rather frowned on.”
“I had no idea.”
“Ooh yes, you don’t know the half of it.”
“Fancy.”
“Okay...(ticks something off list) And I take it as read that you can Doctor a bit.”
“Phew, yes, like you wouldn’t believe. My Doctoring is second to none, second to none. My instructor at the terrorist school said that I was the best Doctor in my suicide bomber class.”
“Excellent (ticks off something else off on list, then stops mid-tick). Sorry did you say terrorist school and suicide bomber class?”
“Yes. I mean, no. No. No no no no. No. (Laughs) Did I say that? Oh what was I thinking? No. Ppff.”
“I’m pretty certain you did.”
“No, no, I said that the Senior Consultant at my hospital thought that I was the best suicide, hmm I mean, specialist in bones and medicine and stuff in my whole bit of said hospital.”
“Phew. I wrote down terrorist and suicide bomber, look (shows candidate, laughing). Me and my ears.”
“I get the same problem. Bomb making, boom! Can’t hear a thing for weeks.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“Hear what?” (Both laugh)
“Okay, when can you start?”
“Right now if you want. Hmmm, you did say that there would be a reserved parking space right by the hospital?”